Are you a steadfast bachelor or bachelorette? Do you value the freedom that being single provides? There’s a good chance that you have beliefs about commitment that simply aren’t true.
If you’re brave enough to examine those beliefs, commitment might start to sound more appealing.
A committed relationship isn’t the right choice for everyone, but many singles harbor negative attitudes about relationships that aren’t justified.
Examine your beliefs regarding these common relationship myths:
1. Being in a committed relationship results in less freedom. This is partially true. You do have fewer choices in certain areas of your life. For example, you lose the option of pursuing other romantic relationships. You also might be forced to spend every other Thanksgiving with the in-laws.
• But consider the freedoms you gain. You no longer have to search for a mate. No more bad dates. No more spending countless hours online searching dating profiles. No more wondering if the other person is going to call the next day.
• You may have more financial freedom by adding a second income to your financial situation. You always have a ride if your car is in the shop. You have someone to share the housework.
• If you choose wisely, you actually gain a lot of freedom by being in a committed relationship.
2. A relationship leads to boring routine. Couples do tend to fall into routines, but that routine doesn’t have to be boring. It might seem boring to a single person, but sitting on the couch watching old movies with the love of your life isn’t a bad way to spend an evening. It beats surfing the internet alone.
• What is your current routine? Is it enjoyable, or merely comfortable?
3. Commitment is a form of giving up. Settling down isn’t the same as settling. It’s not necessary to sacrifice your needs or dreams in order to be part of a relationship.
• Figure out what you want. Then figure out what your partner wants. If those things can coexist, commitment isn’t an issue. You can keep your uniqueness and your dreams. The other person’s uniqueness and goals make life even more interesting.
4. You can force someone to commit to you. There’s no way to force someone else to want to be with you. You might be able to force a commitment in the short-term, but your partner will be looking for a way out. You’ve only received a commitment because the prospect of being alone is too scary, not because the prospect of being with you is so appealing.
• In the end, you will have a relationship that contains resentment. Resentment is like a slow-acting poison to a relationship.
5. Commitment is a one-time event. The truth is that commitment is a daily exercise. You have to create your relationship with your partner each day. As soon as you fail to put energy into it, it begins to die.
6. Committed relationships are supposed to be perfect. Nothing is perfect. A commitment doesn’t guarantee perfection. All relationships have challenging times. Anything that involves two people will have tough moments. Those challenges provide an opportunity to grow and strengthen your relationship.
Falling in love can be easy. A relationship is more difficult, but that doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice. Commonly believed myths regarding relationships keep too many people on the sidelines.
Most people find life more enjoyable and meaningful when it’s shared with someone else. Think about your beliefs regarding relationships. Are they holding you back?